It is 2008. It has been for, like, fourteen days. (Where have you been?)
Wesley and I moved to Georgia in 2003. Just seeing those words typed out on this screen is making my whole body itch. We bought our house in 2005, without considering--well, he may have--how long we'd be here. I'm starting to think that we'll be here forever. Are you trembling with fear? Is that just me?
I have always been the one in this relationship to day-dream of new faces and far-away places, but, lately, when he suggests such a life, I am instantly afraid. Where will we go? What will the people be like? What if it's awful and I hate it and I have no friends and what about school and our life here? I've never experienced these sort of feelings--this attachment to a place. I feel weak. It's disturbing. This may be the first time in my entire life that I've grown to love a place--to feel as though it is my home.
Perhaps Georgia is my captor and I'm experiencing Stockholm syndrome. At any rate, suddenly and unexpectedly, I fear change.
And then there are days like today, when I couldn't care less about caution, or the wind. Today, when I feel like I will die without a change of scenery. I want somewhere else--where I am surrounded by new people, new street-signs and skylines, and everything I see beneath the sun is brand-spanking new to me.
Maybe it's time. Maybe it's been time.
But where would we gooooooooooooooooooo? And how could we leave the Falcons?!?!?
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2 comments:
I think the longing for change is hitting a lot of people lately. There is always a certain amount of fear in the unknown, I think, but it's how you deal with it that makes you who you are. Just go where you are called to go and happiness will meet you there (that sounds like a fortune cookie). In the meantime, I'll be hoping you end up somewhere near me :)
You're always welcome in West Michigan:)
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